Oops....Guess i have been MIA

It's amazing that as soon as the chemo stops, i haven't. I have been so super busy. I have gone back to work, 20 hours a week. Starting slow for now and then after New Years i am going back 30 hours. Even though i am only working 20 hours with my commute it is 32. I feel like i haven't stopped going in the last week and a half between work and getting ready for Christmas. I am glad to be getting back to some normalcy, but i am still so tired and missing those naps i used to get. Everyday is getting better, a little more energy, a little more hair, and little more "me". My sense of humor is returning and i just all around feel better.

I still have so much to do to get ready for Christmas. Last weekend we did get the tree decorated and lights hung on the house. I need to take a picture so i can post it. Maybe tomorrow or Sunday i will get some pictures up. My Christmas tree doesn't have any presents under it, because i have not had the time or energy to start that yet. I really honestly haven't put a dent in my Christmas shopping yet. I feel bad, i have people that i need to get stuff in the mail to, so they get it before Christmas, but i am not sure that will happen. Their stuff may be a day or two late.

Joe and I went to my company Christmas Party this week and it was really nice. It was at Arden Hills Country Club in Sacramento. For those of you who haven't ever been there it is absolutely beautiful. It was alot of fun. We had an after party at the Midway in Ceres with some old friends.....Pam and Todd. I had a couple of drinks and it felt great to get out and enjoy myself again. I made sure to charge the battery in my camera so that i would actually get pictures (unlike Thanksgiving), and then i forgot my camera on the counter at home with my jewelry i planned on wearing that night. ChemoBrain.

I really need to do some more shopping and wrapping this weekend. I think i will put the kids to work helping me. In the past i haven't really let them do much wrapping or decorating because i was a bit of a perfectionist, but i have come to realize that their style is cute, their effort is priceless, and life is too short for perfect.

Tomorrow night is Sabrina's 30th Birthday Party and i am looking forward to getting together with that clan. It has been a long time since we have all hung out. I think i should go put my camera in my purse now, so i actually get pictures of this. LOL

Just call me Brandi "Remission" England

Yeah! I made it and now i am clean and clear. Just thought i would get on real quick and give the good news. I don't have to see the oncologist until March!!!!!! Merry Early Christmas to me. The best gift i got this year came a little early and it came from my Dr. A Clean Bill of Health. I am beyond excited and today is the first day of the rest of my healthy life.

Tomorrow is the big Day!

I go to the Dr. tomorrow for the results to last weeks PET Scan. I am really excited and a tad nervous. I have managed to stay really confident and super busy, because busy gives me less time to think, and when you are playing a waiting game thinking can be dangerous. I will be getting home super late tomorrow from the Dr. because i have a late afternoon appointment which will put me out of the Dr.'s office just in time for the rush hour traffic leaving Sacramento, but i will try and post at least the results tomorrow.

As for Thanksgiving it was really great! Dinner was awesome and spending time with my mom was so much fun. She was here for 3 days and we shopped all 3 days. On Wednesday we shopped for Thanksgiving. Then on Thursday K-Mart is the only store in the world open on Thanksgiving so we were there before the doors opened. Then on Friday we started at 4 am at Mervyn's first, getting there before the doors opened also. We got alot of really great deals and had a good time. We had to come home after 3 stores and take a little break before going out for more. My energy level is just not there yet. Also i know i promised pictures, but the chemo brain is here for good i think. I forgot to charge the battery in my camera, so this Thanksgiving we are going to have to go off memory to remember. Memory- something chemo has stripped me of and seems to be the one thing that may never return.

Speaking of returning though my hair is coming back. I am so excited, except it is going to be an all new me. It is coming in super dark. I have always had dirty blonde hair naturally, so dark hair is going to take some getting used to. It is also coming in curly, but only on the sides and in the back. The top seems to be coming in straight. Of course it is about 1/4 of an inch long so who knows what will happen as it gets longer. For now i am just happy it is coming in thick and even with no more bald spots.

Also i am starting to return to work. I never went completely out during chemo. I continued to work as many hours as i could, on most weeks that was between 8-15 hours. Last week i managed to work 20 and that is the plan for this week too. After this week i am hoping to step it up to 30 hours for a few weeks and hopefully by the end of the month be back full time. The commute makes it hard, i drive 3 to 4 hours a day on top of how many hours i work. So when i get back full time i have 60 hour work weeks between working and commuting. Last week my 20 hours was really 34 with the commute. I was so tired this last week i went straight to bed after work every night. Oh how i can't wait to get all my energy back.

Pet Scan #2 Scheduled

I have another Pet Scan scheduled for November 27th. Hopefully this scan will bring the results that i want to hear so bad. CANCER FREE!!!! I get the results on December 4th. So i have decided that i am feeling better (regardless to how my body feels) and i am going to enjoy this Thanksgiving more than i have enjoyed any other. No worries during this holiday only fun. I will not worry in between the scan and the results because i have even more confidence than i did last time that i will get the results i want. There is just no way that anything could be living inside me. Hair loss, appetite loss, memory loss, losing the use of my arms, the only thing i haven't lost is weight, just my luck. I know they say cancer is like the cockroach (the only thing that could live through a bomb), but not inside of me. I refuse, i am a strong believer of mind over matter, and my mind is set.

On a lighter note i am hoping to bowl tomorrow night, since i haven't been able to in several weeks. I don't want to injure this arm any worse than it already is, but i could us the fun. Even if my arm is not up to bowling i will at least go and be the team cheerleader.

Well i have lots to do to get ready for my mom coming and Thanksgiving. Hopefully she doesn't read this post or she will be calling me and telling me i better not do anything that is why she is coming. I have to work everyday (except the weekend) until she gets here so i need to get as much done today as possible. So if i don't post again until after Thanksgiving than everyone have a Super Great Awesome Thanksgiving!!

P.S. I will get some super cool pictures of Thanksgiving with Mom and post them after Thanksgiving.

Yesterday was my last chemo treatment....Yeah!!!

So yesterday i went to Day 15 round 6 chemo treatment. That is it, it is over. The treatment itself was by far the longest. The nurses were so afraid of me getting phlebitis in my other arm that they put the chemo in super slow. Usually my treatment takes about 3 1/2 hours. Yesterday i was there 8 hours. The treatment took 6 hours and it took 2 hours to decided if they were going to give me the treatment.

The reason they weren't sure on giving me the treatment is because i am sick again. I swear if it's not one thing it's another. The patch started kicking in and i was feeling better by Monday. Tuesday i went to work and it was a super long day for me, about 12 hours, between work and commute. Then i woke up Wednesday sick as can be. Sore throat, cough, runny nose, achy body and a fever. I do not know where i picked up this cold, nobody at my house has been sick. The fever had broke by Thursday morning, so they made me wear a mask all day so i wouldn't get anyone else sick and they had me in a room by myself most of the day. They finally decided to go ahead and do the last chemo treatment, the Dr. says he is sure it is a virus. As a precautionary measure he is going to have me take the Neulasta shot today though. Ugh!!! He is also going to have me start more antibiotics on Monday to make sure this chest cold doesn't turn into bronchitis or pneumonia.

I woke up this morning feeling alot better. My sore throat is almost gone, the fever and the achiness is gone. So hopefully i am almost over this cold. The last one hung around for 11 days. I'm super bummed about having to take that shot. I told the nurses the chemo wasn't half as bad as that shot is. Oh well it is the last one and then i never have to think about Nuelasta again.

Thanksgiving is in two weeks, i can't believe it is that close. I never really look forward to Thanksgiving Day that much, because i always do all the cooking and it is alot of work. I look forward to the day after Thanksgiving for all those sales. Yes, i am one of the crazy's that fight the crowds and get up at 4am to shop. This year i am looking forward to both. My mom is coming from Utah for Thanksgiving. She figured with Thanksgiving falling exactly 2 weeks after my last chemo treatment i might not be up to doing all the cooking on my own. So my mom will be doing most of the cooking, she thinks she is doing it all, but that is not my style. There is nothing better than mom's cooking. Also this year i will have a shopping buddy. Some years i have talked someone into going with me, but i never can manage to talk them into it again. Most people go once to see what it is all about, get their feel, and never go back. Last year i talked my husband into going with me. I can assure everyone that will never happen again.

Well i should be feeling better by Monday and i will try and post again to let everyone know how the LAST Nuelasta shot treated me.

Update on my arm

Just thought i would give everyone a quick update. The purpleness of my arm is getting better and the pain is getting worse. The Dr. has decided that it is definitely phlebitis. It originally was about an inch or two of the vein in my right arm near the elbow. It has now moved about two inches further up my arm. So now the vein is swollen about 4 inches and my whole arm is swollen. Initially it was just my elbow hurting and now the pain has traveled up to my shoulder and back. I went in again today to have the nurse look at it and just document the visible changes to my arm. They also put a pain patch on me. I guess it slowly releases the pain medicine for 3 days and then they told me to take darvacet for the break through pain as needed. They gave me a 30 day supply of the patches. Apparently the Dr. is afraid this may last longer than i was hoping. They say i may still be able to drive, work, and function on this patch. Hopefully that is the case. I am hoping this patch will make it possible for me to have a bit of normalness again. So i should no my Monday how this all works out.

Happy Halloween!!!!

It's Halloween and I wish I felt better. I did go get the kids their Halloween costumes 2 weeks ago. Then on Sunday, we carved pumpkins. They turned out really good. I didn't do any other decorating other than the pumpkins this year. We are going trick or treating tonight, I'm not sure how long i will be able to go, but I will try for at least a little while. I will get some pictures of the kids in their costumes and try and post them in the next couple of days. Hopefully i will be feeling better by then.

In my last blog i wrote about the infusion hurting, which has never happened before. On Saturday i woke up and my right arm(the one they put the chemo in) from about 2 inches above my wrist to an inch above my elbow is purple and red and swollen. My arm was aching really bad. I dealt with the pain on saturday and sunday and by Monday i just couldn't take it anymore. So i called the Dr. and they decided it would be best to see me. The Dr. isn't sure if i have phlebitis or if chemo leaked out of my vein and into the tissue during infusion. She put me on antibiotics in case chemo leaked out of my vein, because that could cause an infection. She also put me on a steroid cream to reduce the swelling in the skin and tissue near the the surface of the skin. If i am not feeling better by tomorrow i will probably go back in. I can't do anything with this arm. I can't even brush my "buddy", and i am not one to walk around with bed head. It has taken me over an hour to type this having to rest after every couple of sentences. My arm seriously feels like it is going to fall off. I can't wait to feel better.

I will keep everyone up to date if i end up going back to the Dr. Happy Haunting!!!

Chemo Yesterday

So yesterday i had chemo and it was by far the worst treatment yet. I was a little early to my appointment so i went to the lab for a blood draw, so my blood counts would be done in time for my appointment. For some reason where she poked me it took 2 hours to stop bleeding. Then the only vein the nurse could find to give me chemo in is the one i had all the problems with in the beginning. The Dr. said not to use it anymore because the vein was restricted and my arm felt like it was going to fall off from the pain. We haven't used that arm at all for the last 5 or 6 treatments and my arm felt back to normal so we decided to try it out. Big Big Mistake. Everything she put through that IV made my arm hurt so bad. She had to slow up all the chemo and my treatment that usually takes 3 to 4 hours took 5 hours yesterday. Also she had to keep wrapping my arms in warm towels to ease the pain. So like every half hour she would bring me a new warm towel. At one point she was busy and accidently put the towel in the microwave for 2 minutes instead of 30 seconds and almost burned down the hospital. She brought the towel in to put it on my arm and when she was waving it in the air to cool it off a bit before putting it on me, I saw a brown burn spot and could smell something burning. She opened the towel more and on the next layer it was on fire almost. She threw it in the sink and turned the water on. We all had a good laugh at that and i made her let me inspect every towel after that to make sure she wasn't trying to burn me. The receptionist and people across the hall came in to find out if they needed to call the fire department. So at least there was one funny thing that happened in my bad chemo treatment. Then as if my day wasn't bad enough 0n the way home (i have an hour and half drive) my stomach started hurting and i started feeling not that great. I figured it was the chemo kicking in, boy was i wrong. Aunt Flow had come to visit. Icing on the cake. I woke up feeling pretty good today and i take my last Nuelasta shot tonight....Yeah.



We recently joined a bowling league, Joe, my dad, his best friend, and myself. I had a substitute bowler to bowl for me until i finished the chemo, but she dropped out after the first week. So i go and bowl when i can and i sit and be the cheerleader for my team when i can't. I actually bowled last night and we had a really good time. There we are bowling and i'm popping Zofran. It is something to keep my mind off of the cancer and something to get me out of the house. I will have to get some pictures of my team kicking butt. We are in second place right now out of 22 teams.



O.k. so the other day when i posted those pics of me in my new wigs i left the first wig i bought out. It was the one i ordered over the internet and i thought it was too dark. Most people that knew me before the cancer thing knew i have always had light hair. People who didn't know me before think it looks good. Well i will post it for you guys to be the judge.

O.K. News

So yesterday i went to get the results to last weeks PET Scan. It wasn't exactly what i wanted to hear. I guess there is still a small spot showing. So two more treatments and then at the end of November another PET Scan. The Dr. is going to have me not take the Nuelasta shot after my last chemo. He says that sometimes that shot has a funny effect to the PET Scan. So i will be keeping my fingers crossed that is why i still have activity showing. I see the Dr. on Dec. 4th to get the results to the next PET Scan. The news was a little discouraging because the Dr. had told me initially that 3 rounds of chemo would probably get rid of it, but as a precautionary measure we would do 6 rounds. So after 5 rounds i was expecting to hear that it was all gone. I knew that i would have to do this last round of chemo regardless to the results of the Scan, but if it was already gone and I was just doing the last round as a precautionary measure that would have been better than doing the last round and hoping it's enough to get rid of whats left.


Oh well on a different note, Thank You to Mary Jane who found a great wig shop in our area. They are very reasonably priced and even let you try the wigs on in the store. I took my good friend Jenny with me and we had a good time getting me 2 really great "buddies". Here is a picture of the 2 i just got.

So I woke up this morning and after months of getting balder i start to realize that i have a full head of baby hairs growing back in already. Yeah. I'm not sure if they will last through the next 2 chemo treatments. The more i looked at my hair i started to realize the few hairs (like 10) that i have left, look really bad. Almost like a bad Halloween wig. So i got out the scissors and started to give myself a haircut. Probably not the best idea, but i figured i couldn't make it look any worse than it already did. Then i decided to clean it up a bit and we shaved my head, so all the hair would be the same length. So if i do hang on to the new baby hairs that have grown in, then in several months i should look like a girl again. Until then i have scarves and wigs. Honestly it really does look better, and i never had to do the total bald thing, just very very very short. Here is a picture.

Well i have chemo tomorrow and then i will only have one left. This Friday is my last Nuelasta shot....Thank goodness for that. I will try and do a post over the next day or two before the shot kicks in to let everyone know how i am adjusting to the almost baldness.

Pet Scan Scheduled

Ok so yes i was missing in action a little longer than i thought i would be. Comcast and I had a little dispute and they sorta won for about a week. Anyways so much has happened.

First i have a Pet Scan scheduled for this Thursday October 18th. So i need every ones prayers and positive thoughts on Thursday. I get the results on Tuesday October 23rd. I am preparing myself for only good news, i feel really confident and good that this chapter is coming to an end.

The next thing is i finally got a wig. I had to order online and the color is much darker than i thought it would be. It is really cute and i am hoping to get some pictures uploaded tomorrow. I have been putting on some really dark eyebrows to match and people who don't know me have been wanting to know where i get my hair done. That is a question i wasn't prepared for the first time. My response now is: I do it myself, I'm not one for lies and the shock on peoples faces when you tell them it's a wig is unbearable. People who do know me have passed right by me not realizing it is me. I'm going to order another online and hopefully the next one is a tad lighter. I haven't shaved my head yet, i am worried that the wig will irritate my bald head so i am also ordering some caps to wear under the wig. I only have about 10 hairs left so i know it is time to let go. We have all had a good time, naming the wig "my buddy". That way when we are in public we can talk about it without everyone knowing what we are talking about. If it is crooked, then my buddy is all out of whack. If one of my ten hairs are trying to escape, then my buddy has a straggler. I can ask how does my buddy look today. It has been pretty funny.

Halloween is coming and I feel really bad but i have not been in the mood. No decorations at my house and i know i need to get costumes but i have had no spirit. I need to snap out of it before the costumes are totally picked over. Maybe by this weekend i will find some Halloween spirit somewhere.

Well i guess that is all i have for now. I will try and post a pic or two tomorrow.

Feeling Better

So i thought i would update everyone and let you all know that i am finally feeling better. I still have this real nasty congested cough, but I'm not sleeping all day and feeling like death when i am awake so that is definitely better. No more head colds, or flu bugs for me, so stay away if you are sick. LOL

Also as a heads up i will probably go missing in action for awhile. I have to work tomorrow and Wednesday and then chemo on Thursday. I still haven't heard back from the doc on scheduling the PET Scan so no news there yet. After this treatment i will only have 3 more left. I am on the final countdown. The holidays are coming and i am going to feel well enough to enjoy them.

For an update on the shaving my head thing, i had to order a wig online, so i am waiting for it to arrive. There aren't really any wig stores around and the ones i could find the wigs cost an arm and a leg. I have decided to wear a wig to work and i have hats for at home and i will be wearing bald proud. I will post pics after it is done. Wish i had something a little more exciting to report but this is all i have for now.

Sick....Uggghhh!!!

This time it's not chemo sick. Joe had a head cold last week and we took every precautionary measure. We sprayed Lysol all over the whole house. I even spent more time at work so i would not be around and when i was home we locked him up in the room. I still got his head cold. Head colds are never pleasant, but try getting one when you have no immune system. I have ran a low grade fever with this, and it is just lingering. He had it 2 days and I am on day 4. The doc put me on antibiotics to be on the safe side. They have had me taking my temperature every couple of hours, as long as it stays below 100.5 then i can fight this at home instead of the hospital. This morning my temperature was finally normal, so i am hoping it stays that way. Needless to say no chemo for me today. That is the one good thing that has come out of this head cold. They delayed me one week on this treatment.

The doctor is also ordering for another PET Scan. I am excited because i really feel like the Hodge is gone. Still a little nervous though. They are supposed to be calling me with the date so i will keep everyone posted as soon as i get the info.

As soon as i am feeling better ( I have been put on bed rest until the cold is all gone) I will be going wig shopping. I feel like i have held onto my hair as long as possible and it is time to let go. I have gotten so thin when i look in the mirror, i am not sure who is looking back at me. I have just decided if I'm going to do the cancer thing ( like i had any choice in that matter) i should get the full experience and do the bald thing. I only have 2 cycles left so that won't leave me bald for long. After all it's just hair and it will grow back.

Despite feeling horrible from this cold, my spirits are up and i have been in a good mood. I have gotten some extra rest with this cold, seems like i have slept for the last 3 days. That's all i have for now. I will let you know when the next scan is as soon as i know.

Busy, Busy, Busy!!!

OK so i guess i have been missing in action for awhile again. I have been super busy. So first we will play catch up. We had a great Labor Day Weekend. We BBQ on Saturday and only my dad showed up, but it was nice. Then on Sunday we went to the ocean. The Bay Bridge was closed all of Labor Day Weekend so they could do repairs, so we went across the San Mateo Bridge and ended up going to Pacifica instead of San Fran. The waves were great and it was a beautiful sunshiny day in the Bay. We took the dog, Zoe, and she was a little scared at first but it didn't take her long to warm up. She absolutely loves the water. I did get some great pics but have not downloaded them from my camera yet. I will try and get to that later. After the long weekend i spent Tuesday re cooperating and worked a really long day on Wednesday. Thursday was chemo and I haven't felt very good since then. Seems like the ickiness just doesn't go away as easy as it did before. I've mainly been in bed, trying to get up and do small things the last couple of days, but i just have no energy.

So tomorrow is back to work, I have a new Assistant Manager starting and she will be training with me and Katherine all month. Katherine is moving to Sunny San Diego and i wish her the best. She will be missed, but this is a great opportunity for her.

I am hoping to feel better by this weekend it is Tyler's birthday on Saturday. Also we have a celebration for my dad on Saturday, I need to find a good bakery in town. Well i guess that is all i have for now. I will try and post some pics later.

Bouncing Back and Feeling Better

O.K. so I am bouncing back and feeling better this time. I am so happy because this is a long weekend to enjoy with my family. Besides I am not a grumpy feel bad kind of person, I can't stand myself when i get like that.

So it is Labor Day Weekend. What is on the agenda? I think we might have a BBQ on Saturday. In this triple digit heat it is hard to convince yourself to go outside let alone stand over the grill. So i have already elected for Joe to do the BBQing while i sit in the air conditioning....lol...that didn't go over very well. Then either Sunday or Monday I think we are going to go to the beach to get out of this heat. It is so much cooler by the ocean. Besides we want to see if the dog likes the ocean as much as the rest of us do. So i will pack the SPF 50 and re-apply 100 times so i don't end up sunburned. I think the ocean and getting out of this heat will help to keep my mood good.

So i just wanted to give everyone an update and let you know i am feeling better. I will get some good pictures over the weekend and try to do another post on Monday or Tuesday to share with everyone. Have a great Labor Day Weekend!!!

Chemo Funk

With every treatment i seem to get a little worse. My mood, my health, my attitude, my outlook, everything is getting ugly. I try to stay positive mostly for my kids. I shower and dress and put on makeup everyday no matter how bad i feel so that they won't know. The pain medication (dilaudid) definitely helps with the pain. I just seem to be grouchy and nothing to be grouchy about. I feel sick all the time, even when i should be feeling better and be bouncing back. I think i have entered a chemo funk. I need to figure out something to pull me out of this. The little things in life that have always made me so happy are not doing the job anymore. I used to be able to watch a funny movie or have my kids say something so cute and innocent to pull me out of a bad mood. Just a little laugh was all it took. These things still make me laugh, they just don't help to make me feel better. I am feeling so unappreciative. I know i have so much to be grateful for. I have a great family and awesome friends. I am getting treatment at one of the best hospitals in California and have truly fantastic nurses. Five more treatments to go, then happy go lucky Brandi will be back. I know what i need is a good party to make me feel better. I think we will plan the biggest New Years Eve party ever. I should be feeling better by then and the funkiness will be gone.

Our new addition

Her name is Zoe. She is a 72 pound Rottwieler and German Shepard Mix. She is so sweet, loving, gentle and well behaved. We adopted her form Pet n' Pals. The whole family has really been wanting a dog for a long time. Now that I am only working part time and some of that i am doing from home, i finally felt like we have the time needed to devote to a new addition to the family. The kids are back in school and with Joe at work i find myself lonely during the days. Zoe has quickly changed that. She will either come over and beg for a game of fetch, or just give me a good old face lick when she can tell I'm under the weather.

Anyways, I had chemo yesterday again. The chemo treatment before really kicked my butt. I usually am only down and out for 3 or 4 days and by day 7 after my chemo I'm what i call back to normal.=) This last one i never really seemed to bounce back. I was getting chemo yesterday and still feeling like i should be in bed. I always try to put on my happy face for chemo day. It just seems to help me and the nurses. Yesterday was quite the struggle. I think everyone could tell because they just kept telling me it is ok if I'm not feeling well and that i looked pale. So i woke up this morning as nauseated as ever. Thank goodness for Zofran and Ativan. They gave me some new pain meds( vicodin was making me really sick), the new one is dilaudid, I haven't ever tried this one, so hope i do ok. Actually i hope it works. Neulasta tonight....ugh....Oh how i hate to give myself shots. UPS just knocked on the door and dropped it off to me...Yeah!

Well all the kids have plans this weekend. They are all taking off tonight and will be back Sunday afternoon and early evening. So I will be enjoying a quiet, sick weekend.

One last bit of news. I want to thank Kristina and all the staff at Cort Furniture for the beautiful basket of smell good pretties. I have always really enjoyed this kind of stuff, but now more than ever. Somehow it just helps to make you feel pretty and girly when you are feeling so horrible. So thanks again.

P.S. Thank you Sabrina for going to chemo with me yesterday and keeping me company. It truly does make the time go by faster. Dad i think it is your turn next.=)

I'm still here

I know I haven't written anything since last Sunday, but I have not felt good enough. Last week I worked at the the beginning of the week and then had Chemo on Thursday. This chemo seemed to be the worst. Fiday I was yicky and then had to give myself "the shot". I told the nurses about the unbearable bone aches and they sent me home with vicodin. So Saturday and Sunday I slept. I think the vicodin has helped with the pain and increased the naseau....ugh. By Tuesday I am usually always better, but today I have a Dr. appointment and that is all I plan on doing.

On a good note my dad has been super helpful this week...Thanks Dad!!! My mom and Brittany will be back next week...Yah. I miss Brittany it has just been way to quite around here. I am hoping to feel ok after my next treatment so I can finish her school shopping with her. My mom will be staying 3 days, not long enough, but better than nothing. I think my neice may even be here from Oregon, so I am really looking forward to next week. Next week if I go missing in action it is because I am having way too much fun!

P.S. Thank you to everyone at Corporate for the beautiful and uplifting card. It came on Saturday and was just what I needed in all my ickiness.=)

San Francisco

Yesterday we took a much needed trip to San Francisco. It was really really nice, we had a lot of fun. I woke up this morning a little sore. I guess I over did it a tad, but it was worth it.

We started out early in the morning at Baker Beach. I think it is one of the best beach areas in all of San Francisco. There is amazing views of the Golden Gate Bridge and the waves come in nice and strong. A word of advice for anyone who has never been there and is thinking of visiting, the north end of the beach (closer to the Golden Gate Bridge) is clothing optional. From the south end of the beach you can't see anything, so still a great place to take the kids. They had so much fun playing in the ocean.

Then we parked near the Golden Gate Bridge and walked a little ways across it. These days I don't nearly have the strength to walk the whole bridge, not even in one direction. We still walked across far enough to get the feel of the experience. Truly amazing getting out there and seeing the views of Alcatraz, the Bay Bridge, and the city.

Then we went down to the wharf and had lunch and took a bay cruise. The cruise took us out and under the Golden Gate Bridge and all the way around Alcatraz. Going underneath the Golden Gate Bridge was just breathtaking. There are not words that can describe how massive and impressive this Bridge really is. I haven't ever done the Alcatraz Tour and this cruise gave you just enough of the history on Alcatraz to make you want more.

The kids wanted to go back to the beach for a little bit before we left, but I just wasn't up to it. I felt bad yesterday, but today I am glad we came home when we did. I forgot in the morning to put sunscreen on (i think because it was overcast and very cool) only for about an hour. That was enough for a sunburn though. After the first hour i remembered, and thank goodness put on SPF50. Every time we go to San Francisco we try to do something new and i think our next trip we are going to do the Alcatraz Tour. Out of the hundreds of trips we are not even beginning to run out of things to do, now that is a city with lots to do!

Here are some pics of the trip.



My Public Shoebox

Off work

So I am off work today and tomorrow to make for a long weekend. This is the slowest time of the month for me at work and I figured it would be a good time to catch up on some extra rest. The funny thing is I woke up really early and felt really good. I haven't had a day like that in.....well um.....like 2 months. I wonder if it is a psychological thing, just knowing that i have the next few days off work and have nothing better to do than relax. Well I'm not sure but i know i will enjoy it for sure.

Lately I have really been wanting to get out of the house and go do "something"! Anything really. I just don't know what. I don't want to do anything that will tire me out too bad. I just don't have the energy i used to. I need some help. Some suggestions on something Joe and I could take the kids to go do, and wouldn't get me too tired out. Remember I have to be very careful in the sun. ( I learned that the hard way to. Sitting in the car for 20 minutes driving and I was red as a lobster.)

Thanks for the help. Love ya!
Brandi

They are gone....back in Utah

My mom and Brittany drove back to Utah yesterday. What a long drive, 12 hours! They made it though, and will be back on the 8th of August. Brittany will have a good time, i just hope she makes it that long without getting home sick. Last year she only went for 2 weeks. She will have lots of fun things to do, like riding the quad, horses, helping take care of the garden, playing with her friends out there and she might even get to go to the Grand Canyon. I would love to go to the Grand Canyon!

It was nice having my mom here, there is just something comforting about moms. While she was here she made me pasties (an English recipe that is basically meat and potatoe pie). No amount of chemo could curb my appetite when it comes to pasties. She also made a meatloaf and put it in the freezer, hoping to help out Joe. He has had to do most of the cooking lately, because I am either not feeling good or with the commute getting home too late to cook. He was very thankful for the meatloaf, being a new cook it is not something he has learned how to do yet, and he loves meatloaf.

My mom being here was the only good thing about this weekend. That shot (Neulasta) made me achier than ever. Saturday I could hardly move and Sunday was not much better. It really affected my legs this time. I wasn't too bad as long as I didn't stand or walk. So that made for a fun weekend of sitting and laying. It's summertime and I want so badly to be my normal self, camping, shopping, going to the beach. These days I'm either too sore, tired, sick, or if I am feeling OK I have to be careful about being in the sun. One icky summer for a lifetime of wellness and happiness, it is all worth it in the end.

My mom is here

My mom came from Utah to stay with me for a few days and she is going to take my oldest daughter to visit with her in Utah for a month.

She was able to go with me to my chemo appointment. It was nice for her as mom to be able to see the actual treatment doesn't hurt. It was nice for me to have her to visit with. The 4 hour treatment didn't seem nearly so long.

She will leave on Sunday and take Brittany with her, and then they will be back in the beginning of August. She will be here in time for another chemo treatment and be able to stay for a few days. Hopefully my niece from Oregon will be down for a visit at that time.

Well i haven't felt too bad, but I have to give myself that shot tonight. Not looking forward to that. The shot itself i hate, but it has made me so sick for the first couple of days, unbearably achy and miserable. Oh well i guess it comes with the territory of getting better.

I guess it is nap time. I'm hoping to get in a pedicure later, so i should rest for a while.

Oh.....I slept so good

I finally had a really good nights sleep. I feel really good today and I do not have to work today. I have learned my lessons the hard way though, and I promise myself now I will not over due things today. I should do a couple loads of laundry. Well just a short note, I wanted to share with everyone my excitement of a good nights sleep.

So tired....but I can't sleep!!

I have been so tired lately, but I just can't sleep. I lay down, fall asleep, and then I am awake after just a few hours. Then I can't go back to sleep. I know I have had a lot on my mind. One of the biggest things I can't seem to quit thinking about is how my hair is starting to fall out really fast since this past chemo treatment. I know it will grow back, and I have had a really good attitude from the beginning of this.....hat shopping, wig shopping, and all the jokes. It really seems to be setting in the last week and has had me a little down. I have only washed my hair twice in the last week because that's when it comes out the worst and it has made me a little nauseated and dizzy to see it. I keep telling myself it's only hair!

The other thing I have done a lot of thinking about lately is work. I'm still working and when I feel well I am glad to still be working, I really do enjoy my job. Lately the feeling good days have not been around, and when I do feel good it's not usually good enough for work. My job can be very demanding but the hardest thing for me is that I have an hour and a half commute in each direction. That drive was the most enjoyable part of my day before chemo, it was my "me" time. Now it is the longest drive imaginable. I have cut back my hours to part time, which has seemed to help.

I think for now I just need to try and sleep, maybe naps in the middle of the day=) I've never been a nap person, but it seems to be something I've needed lately. Oh well I guess I will get ready for bed, and hopefully I will sleep better tonight.

My Story

I guess I will start with my story. Almost 2 years ago I woke up one morning with a huge lump on my neck just below my jaw bone. I made an appointment with my primary care and he told me that it was probably an infection. I told him I had a tooth that was infected 2 months prior, but that I had taken all the antibiotics. So he put me on more antibiotics and sent me for an ultrasound, and then a CAT Scan. I was then referred out to an ENT Specialist who again insisted it was infection from the tooth. Again I was put on more antibiotics and told that it may take 6 months for my body to completely get rid of the lump.

After 6 months and the lump getting larger than ever, I decided that it was time for a second opinion. The new ENT Specialist started asking me lots of questions about other symptoms I was having and didn't realize was due to the lump. I had been battling extreme fatigue, night sweats, headaches, insomnia, really itchy skin, and a huge weight gain. She immediately scheduled me for an updated CAT Scan, which showed hundreds of swollen lymph nodes in my neck and shoulders. I had a needle biopsy that came back inconclusive and then a surgical biopsy that came back positive for Hodgkins Lymphoma.

Since then I have started 6 rounds of ABVD, I am on my second round. Still in the beginning of the chemo, but starting to get used to it as much as I can. My Dr. is hoping that the chemo will get it and says hopefully I will not need any radiation.