I have been so tired lately, but I just can't sleep. I lay down, fall asleep, and then I am awake after just a few hours. Then I can't go back to sleep. I know I have had a lot on my mind. One of the biggest things I can't seem to quit thinking about is how my hair is starting to fall out really fast since this past chemo treatment. I know it will grow back, and I have had a really good attitude from the beginning of this.....hat shopping, wig shopping, and all the jokes. It really seems to be setting in the last week and has had me a little down. I have only washed my hair twice in the last week because that's when it comes out the worst and it has made me a little nauseated and dizzy to see it. I keep telling myself it's only hair!
The other thing I have done a lot of thinking about lately is work. I'm still working and when I feel well I am glad to still be working, I really do enjoy my job. Lately the feeling good days have not been around, and when I do feel good it's not usually good enough for work. My job can be very demanding but the hardest thing for me is that I have an hour and a half commute in each direction. That drive was the most enjoyable part of my day before chemo, it was my "me" time. Now it is the longest drive imaginable. I have cut back my hours to part time, which has seemed to help.
I think for now I just need to try and sleep, maybe naps in the middle of the day=) I've never been a nap person, but it seems to be something I've needed lately. Oh well I guess I will get ready for bed, and hopefully I will sleep better tonight.
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