I'm still here

I know I haven't written anything since last Sunday, but I have not felt good enough. Last week I worked at the the beginning of the week and then had Chemo on Thursday. This chemo seemed to be the worst. Fiday I was yicky and then had to give myself "the shot". I told the nurses about the unbearable bone aches and they sent me home with vicodin. So Saturday and Sunday I slept. I think the vicodin has helped with the pain and increased the naseau....ugh. By Tuesday I am usually always better, but today I have a Dr. appointment and that is all I plan on doing.

On a good note my dad has been super helpful this week...Thanks Dad!!! My mom and Brittany will be back next week...Yah. I miss Brittany it has just been way to quite around here. I am hoping to feel ok after my next treatment so I can finish her school shopping with her. My mom will be staying 3 days, not long enough, but better than nothing. I think my neice may even be here from Oregon, so I am really looking forward to next week. Next week if I go missing in action it is because I am having way too much fun!

P.S. Thank you to everyone at Corporate for the beautiful and uplifting card. It came on Saturday and was just what I needed in all my ickiness.=)

San Francisco

Yesterday we took a much needed trip to San Francisco. It was really really nice, we had a lot of fun. I woke up this morning a little sore. I guess I over did it a tad, but it was worth it.

We started out early in the morning at Baker Beach. I think it is one of the best beach areas in all of San Francisco. There is amazing views of the Golden Gate Bridge and the waves come in nice and strong. A word of advice for anyone who has never been there and is thinking of visiting, the north end of the beach (closer to the Golden Gate Bridge) is clothing optional. From the south end of the beach you can't see anything, so still a great place to take the kids. They had so much fun playing in the ocean.

Then we parked near the Golden Gate Bridge and walked a little ways across it. These days I don't nearly have the strength to walk the whole bridge, not even in one direction. We still walked across far enough to get the feel of the experience. Truly amazing getting out there and seeing the views of Alcatraz, the Bay Bridge, and the city.

Then we went down to the wharf and had lunch and took a bay cruise. The cruise took us out and under the Golden Gate Bridge and all the way around Alcatraz. Going underneath the Golden Gate Bridge was just breathtaking. There are not words that can describe how massive and impressive this Bridge really is. I haven't ever done the Alcatraz Tour and this cruise gave you just enough of the history on Alcatraz to make you want more.

The kids wanted to go back to the beach for a little bit before we left, but I just wasn't up to it. I felt bad yesterday, but today I am glad we came home when we did. I forgot in the morning to put sunscreen on (i think because it was overcast and very cool) only for about an hour. That was enough for a sunburn though. After the first hour i remembered, and thank goodness put on SPF50. Every time we go to San Francisco we try to do something new and i think our next trip we are going to do the Alcatraz Tour. Out of the hundreds of trips we are not even beginning to run out of things to do, now that is a city with lots to do!

Here are some pics of the trip.



My Public Shoebox

Off work

So I am off work today and tomorrow to make for a long weekend. This is the slowest time of the month for me at work and I figured it would be a good time to catch up on some extra rest. The funny thing is I woke up really early and felt really good. I haven't had a day like that in.....well um.....like 2 months. I wonder if it is a psychological thing, just knowing that i have the next few days off work and have nothing better to do than relax. Well I'm not sure but i know i will enjoy it for sure.

Lately I have really been wanting to get out of the house and go do "something"! Anything really. I just don't know what. I don't want to do anything that will tire me out too bad. I just don't have the energy i used to. I need some help. Some suggestions on something Joe and I could take the kids to go do, and wouldn't get me too tired out. Remember I have to be very careful in the sun. ( I learned that the hard way to. Sitting in the car for 20 minutes driving and I was red as a lobster.)

Thanks for the help. Love ya!
Brandi

They are gone....back in Utah

My mom and Brittany drove back to Utah yesterday. What a long drive, 12 hours! They made it though, and will be back on the 8th of August. Brittany will have a good time, i just hope she makes it that long without getting home sick. Last year she only went for 2 weeks. She will have lots of fun things to do, like riding the quad, horses, helping take care of the garden, playing with her friends out there and she might even get to go to the Grand Canyon. I would love to go to the Grand Canyon!

It was nice having my mom here, there is just something comforting about moms. While she was here she made me pasties (an English recipe that is basically meat and potatoe pie). No amount of chemo could curb my appetite when it comes to pasties. She also made a meatloaf and put it in the freezer, hoping to help out Joe. He has had to do most of the cooking lately, because I am either not feeling good or with the commute getting home too late to cook. He was very thankful for the meatloaf, being a new cook it is not something he has learned how to do yet, and he loves meatloaf.

My mom being here was the only good thing about this weekend. That shot (Neulasta) made me achier than ever. Saturday I could hardly move and Sunday was not much better. It really affected my legs this time. I wasn't too bad as long as I didn't stand or walk. So that made for a fun weekend of sitting and laying. It's summertime and I want so badly to be my normal self, camping, shopping, going to the beach. These days I'm either too sore, tired, sick, or if I am feeling OK I have to be careful about being in the sun. One icky summer for a lifetime of wellness and happiness, it is all worth it in the end.

My mom is here

My mom came from Utah to stay with me for a few days and she is going to take my oldest daughter to visit with her in Utah for a month.

She was able to go with me to my chemo appointment. It was nice for her as mom to be able to see the actual treatment doesn't hurt. It was nice for me to have her to visit with. The 4 hour treatment didn't seem nearly so long.

She will leave on Sunday and take Brittany with her, and then they will be back in the beginning of August. She will be here in time for another chemo treatment and be able to stay for a few days. Hopefully my niece from Oregon will be down for a visit at that time.

Well i haven't felt too bad, but I have to give myself that shot tonight. Not looking forward to that. The shot itself i hate, but it has made me so sick for the first couple of days, unbearably achy and miserable. Oh well i guess it comes with the territory of getting better.

I guess it is nap time. I'm hoping to get in a pedicure later, so i should rest for a while.

Oh.....I slept so good

I finally had a really good nights sleep. I feel really good today and I do not have to work today. I have learned my lessons the hard way though, and I promise myself now I will not over due things today. I should do a couple loads of laundry. Well just a short note, I wanted to share with everyone my excitement of a good nights sleep.

So tired....but I can't sleep!!

I have been so tired lately, but I just can't sleep. I lay down, fall asleep, and then I am awake after just a few hours. Then I can't go back to sleep. I know I have had a lot on my mind. One of the biggest things I can't seem to quit thinking about is how my hair is starting to fall out really fast since this past chemo treatment. I know it will grow back, and I have had a really good attitude from the beginning of this.....hat shopping, wig shopping, and all the jokes. It really seems to be setting in the last week and has had me a little down. I have only washed my hair twice in the last week because that's when it comes out the worst and it has made me a little nauseated and dizzy to see it. I keep telling myself it's only hair!

The other thing I have done a lot of thinking about lately is work. I'm still working and when I feel well I am glad to still be working, I really do enjoy my job. Lately the feeling good days have not been around, and when I do feel good it's not usually good enough for work. My job can be very demanding but the hardest thing for me is that I have an hour and a half commute in each direction. That drive was the most enjoyable part of my day before chemo, it was my "me" time. Now it is the longest drive imaginable. I have cut back my hours to part time, which has seemed to help.

I think for now I just need to try and sleep, maybe naps in the middle of the day=) I've never been a nap person, but it seems to be something I've needed lately. Oh well I guess I will get ready for bed, and hopefully I will sleep better tonight.

My Story

I guess I will start with my story. Almost 2 years ago I woke up one morning with a huge lump on my neck just below my jaw bone. I made an appointment with my primary care and he told me that it was probably an infection. I told him I had a tooth that was infected 2 months prior, but that I had taken all the antibiotics. So he put me on more antibiotics and sent me for an ultrasound, and then a CAT Scan. I was then referred out to an ENT Specialist who again insisted it was infection from the tooth. Again I was put on more antibiotics and told that it may take 6 months for my body to completely get rid of the lump.

After 6 months and the lump getting larger than ever, I decided that it was time for a second opinion. The new ENT Specialist started asking me lots of questions about other symptoms I was having and didn't realize was due to the lump. I had been battling extreme fatigue, night sweats, headaches, insomnia, really itchy skin, and a huge weight gain. She immediately scheduled me for an updated CAT Scan, which showed hundreds of swollen lymph nodes in my neck and shoulders. I had a needle biopsy that came back inconclusive and then a surgical biopsy that came back positive for Hodgkins Lymphoma.

Since then I have started 6 rounds of ABVD, I am on my second round. Still in the beginning of the chemo, but starting to get used to it as much as I can. My Dr. is hoping that the chemo will get it and says hopefully I will not need any radiation.