Bouncing Back and Feeling Better

O.K. so I am bouncing back and feeling better this time. I am so happy because this is a long weekend to enjoy with my family. Besides I am not a grumpy feel bad kind of person, I can't stand myself when i get like that.

So it is Labor Day Weekend. What is on the agenda? I think we might have a BBQ on Saturday. In this triple digit heat it is hard to convince yourself to go outside let alone stand over the grill. So i have already elected for Joe to do the BBQing while i sit in the air conditioning....lol...that didn't go over very well. Then either Sunday or Monday I think we are going to go to the beach to get out of this heat. It is so much cooler by the ocean. Besides we want to see if the dog likes the ocean as much as the rest of us do. So i will pack the SPF 50 and re-apply 100 times so i don't end up sunburned. I think the ocean and getting out of this heat will help to keep my mood good.

So i just wanted to give everyone an update and let you know i am feeling better. I will get some good pictures over the weekend and try to do another post on Monday or Tuesday to share with everyone. Have a great Labor Day Weekend!!!

Chemo Funk

With every treatment i seem to get a little worse. My mood, my health, my attitude, my outlook, everything is getting ugly. I try to stay positive mostly for my kids. I shower and dress and put on makeup everyday no matter how bad i feel so that they won't know. The pain medication (dilaudid) definitely helps with the pain. I just seem to be grouchy and nothing to be grouchy about. I feel sick all the time, even when i should be feeling better and be bouncing back. I think i have entered a chemo funk. I need to figure out something to pull me out of this. The little things in life that have always made me so happy are not doing the job anymore. I used to be able to watch a funny movie or have my kids say something so cute and innocent to pull me out of a bad mood. Just a little laugh was all it took. These things still make me laugh, they just don't help to make me feel better. I am feeling so unappreciative. I know i have so much to be grateful for. I have a great family and awesome friends. I am getting treatment at one of the best hospitals in California and have truly fantastic nurses. Five more treatments to go, then happy go lucky Brandi will be back. I know what i need is a good party to make me feel better. I think we will plan the biggest New Years Eve party ever. I should be feeling better by then and the funkiness will be gone.

Our new addition

Her name is Zoe. She is a 72 pound Rottwieler and German Shepard Mix. She is so sweet, loving, gentle and well behaved. We adopted her form Pet n' Pals. The whole family has really been wanting a dog for a long time. Now that I am only working part time and some of that i am doing from home, i finally felt like we have the time needed to devote to a new addition to the family. The kids are back in school and with Joe at work i find myself lonely during the days. Zoe has quickly changed that. She will either come over and beg for a game of fetch, or just give me a good old face lick when she can tell I'm under the weather.

Anyways, I had chemo yesterday again. The chemo treatment before really kicked my butt. I usually am only down and out for 3 or 4 days and by day 7 after my chemo I'm what i call back to normal.=) This last one i never really seemed to bounce back. I was getting chemo yesterday and still feeling like i should be in bed. I always try to put on my happy face for chemo day. It just seems to help me and the nurses. Yesterday was quite the struggle. I think everyone could tell because they just kept telling me it is ok if I'm not feeling well and that i looked pale. So i woke up this morning as nauseated as ever. Thank goodness for Zofran and Ativan. They gave me some new pain meds( vicodin was making me really sick), the new one is dilaudid, I haven't ever tried this one, so hope i do ok. Actually i hope it works. Neulasta tonight....ugh....Oh how i hate to give myself shots. UPS just knocked on the door and dropped it off to me...Yeah!

Well all the kids have plans this weekend. They are all taking off tonight and will be back Sunday afternoon and early evening. So I will be enjoying a quiet, sick weekend.

One last bit of news. I want to thank Kristina and all the staff at Cort Furniture for the beautiful basket of smell good pretties. I have always really enjoyed this kind of stuff, but now more than ever. Somehow it just helps to make you feel pretty and girly when you are feeling so horrible. So thanks again.

P.S. Thank you Sabrina for going to chemo with me yesterday and keeping me company. It truly does make the time go by faster. Dad i think it is your turn next.=)